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Monthly Archives: February 2017
Paperwork
Horrible admin tasks to face today, closing PayPal, sorting out the bank, amongst others. I’ve found that some companies are very clinical, some uncompassionate and some wonderful, LinkedIn were so good and easy. I hate paperwork as it is, but … Continue reading
Hope they know….
Attempting to go church today. Can’t decide whether it’s the right thing to do or not, but at least if I try I’ll know. I just really hope everyone realises that I am different now… I am not the same … Continue reading
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Physical
Woken up this morning and actually feel like I’ve been run over. My chest feels like a 10 tonne weight was sat on my chest all night long. My back is in bits and my sciatica has returned randomly. My … Continue reading
Ache
zwHaven’t been able to write, as haven’t known what to say. Still not sure now, all I know is this ache in the bottom of my belly gets stronger, then weakens, then comes back, then lessens, then gets stronger, then … Continue reading
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The weight of grief
The numbness is subsiding like quick sand, the weight of grief I am feeling it’s hard to even breathe. I know when I’m weak, God is strong but I’m all too aware of my weakness right now to feel anything … Continue reading
Frustration
Have sat on the sofa for 2 hours trying to get myself to cry, just so I feel something and it feels real. Had about 5 tears, that’s been all. I want to cry, I want to release something and … Continue reading
?
Questions on my mind this morning. How can I cope with this? How can I navigate this? How can I continue? How can I honour God in this? What will I do? Where will I go? John was my life, … Continue reading
Horrid
Such awful awful nightmares. Can’t believe how bad they are. Even though I’ve slept for 6 hours I feel totally exhausted upon waking up. Banging headache too. Also the feeling of loneliness is creeping up stronger and stronger. I know … Continue reading
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Dread
Can’t even say the things I have to do today. So horrible. I’m dreading it. Had a long sleep but the dreams were so frightening. Life without John is so dull, so so dull. The days are ridiculously long, and … Continue reading
We were truly one.
Had to do some admin things today, not good. Could hardly speak when I rang the bank. Then the job centre was awful as they didn’t really know what I was therefore, even though on the phone I had been … Continue reading
A Little Bit of Life 