?

Questions on my mind this morning. How can I cope with this? How can I navigate this? How can I continue? How can I honour God in this? What will I do? Where will I go? 

John was my life, we did everything together, not only was I his wife I was employed as his personal assistant, we spent every minute together. Now what? I feel totally bereft. I’m probably aware this is just a passing moment, as I know I have awesome friends and a totally amazing church and I am sure that there is something for me to do, however why The Lord chose to take John and not myself will be a question that lingers. John did so much good, that I could never do that much for people, not in the way he did. 

I can feel the realisation coming, and the lump in my throat getting bigger with every day. The moment I start to cry I feel like my heart is going to evaporate with pain and grief…