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Monthly Archives: May 2017
It’s getting real now.
Horrible week. Cried a lot. The realisation of it all is knackering me now. Don’t have energy for anything. Spent a lot of time on the sofa watching tv. Friend came over this morning and cooked me brunch which was … Continue reading
Hmmm… Part 3
Actually managed to talk to God today. Told Him a lot of my frustrations and anger. Closed my eyes and cried and told Him that I have no idea what to do and at the minute I don’t have eyes … Continue reading
Faith & belief
Genuinely starting to feel like a narcissist. All I do is think about myself it seems. Hate it. Done a lot of thinking this morning. Faith is believing when evidence points otherwise, correct? Well maybe I relied too much on … Continue reading
Head wreck
My head feels so full of so much stuff. It’s like everything I think is up for discussion and I’m exhausted by it. I think one thing, and then wonder about the totally opposite the next, and then come to … Continue reading
Posted in Bereavement, grief
Tagged Bereavement, Faith, grief, loneliness, loss, pain
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Sigh
Today is so hard. I feel truly awful. Went to Aldi shopping and nearly legged it, heard someone shuffling behind me and reminded me of John’s little shuffle he had. Missing him is overwhelming today. Don’t want to go anywhere … Continue reading
How on earth?
Wow. So bored and alone. Life without John is sooo dull. How on earth, yes on earth, am I supposed to pick up the pieces of my life that are in smithereens? How will I ever believe God for anything … Continue reading
Rollercoaster
Still feel like I’m tinkering on the edge of something… don’t know what. Head is in such a spin. Think one thing one minute and then something totally different the next. It’s making me exhausted. And even if you were … Continue reading
Hmmmm…. (Part 2)
Thinking about something, trying to articulate it, thought I’d write it in my blog and when I thought of the title I realised I’d already used it so scrolled back to my blog entitled Hmmm… could basically almost just repeat … Continue reading
Better out than in.
Meant to write this post yesterday but after finishing my essay I couldn’t bring myself to do any more writing. Went to worship practice last night as thought it might help- to be in church without John and try and … Continue reading
Hard Love
Just finished my essay that’s due in tomorrow. Was such a struggle. I’m just glad I got through it and have something to hand in to be fair. And now the sun is shining and the house is desperately quiet … Continue reading
A Little Bit of Life 