Little things, not so little… part 2

Friend came round to help sort out kitchen so new lodger could have space for her food and kitchen bits. This means sorting through the cupboards to put some stuff down the cellar as John had a LOT of utensils and pans and ramekins, basically you name it he had it, the cellar is full of stuff too, as he loved to entertain loads of people every week and cook for church events. So she has been helping me, get stuff out of cupboards and decides what stays in the kitchen, and even just the process of one cupboard made me lose it. It is sooooooooo painful. My gosh. It’s not as if I’m even chucking the stuff out, I’m just putting it somewhere else, but I can’t control the grief or the pain. It’s only a cupboard and some pots and pains and you would think it was a massive deal… 😭 Urg. I hate this, truly I do. It’s taken me almost a year to do this much. There is absolutely no way on this earth I can even consider doing the wardrobe or his clothes, even the thought brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. I cannot stand this, it’s too much for me to bear…