Tag Archives: loneliness

3 boxes.

Posted on May 25, 2022 by vickmcq

Imagine 3 separate boxes. These are the boxes where I contain my grief. Let me explain. The first box is where I hold memories and thoughts of John that are too painful or traumatic to think about and talk about … Continue reading →

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Pain, confidence, fragility and faith

Posted on March 30, 2022 by vickmcq

So after having a searing pain in the top back of my thigh I ended up at an emergency Doctors at 2am on Saturday morning. Turns out its a trapped nerve, thankfully not a blood clot like they suspected. I … Continue reading →

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Ruined but onward.

Posted on October 16, 2019 by vickmcq

Yesterday, as I was in Warwickshire visiting my sister, I made a trip to Coventry Cathedral. I absolutely love that place, I always have done since I was a kid. One of the highlights of my life was working (and … Continue reading →

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And….relax… (or at least try)

Posted on September 22, 2019 by vickmcq

My third week since moving. People keep asking me if I have settled in, which seems like a strange question to be asked so early. Can you settle into somewhere straight away after living somewhere else for 10 years? Not … Continue reading →

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Stealing a moment for reflection

Posted on September 3, 2019 by vickmcq

This is genuinely the first moment I have had to reflect and write in the last week (When I haven’t been too tired). What a week. It’s felt like a whole year has past by. Packing up the house required … Continue reading →

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Profound Loneliness

Posted on June 22, 2019 by vickmcq

Yesterday I spoke to someone about the loneliness I have felt, and I realised I can handle about 90 percent of it pretty well, it’s the 10 percent that is profound loneliness that I cannot. Nothing touches it. Nothing. No … Continue reading →

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Ciao!

Posted on June 12, 2019 by vickmcq

Tonight is the eve of what should be our 10th wedding anniversary. I write this from St Peters Square in Rome. Couldn’t face waking up tomorrow in the house knowing we should be celebrating so spontaneously treated myself to a … Continue reading →

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My suspicions were correct…

Posted on May 10, 2019 by vickmcq

A couple or a few blog posts ago I mention how I feared that I hadn’t properly grieved my sister’s death. Turns out I was right. Today I got a text saying her cat isn’t well and only has a … Continue reading →

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Same Place, different story.

Posted on April 16, 2019 by vickmcq

Yesterday I went to a service at Manchester Cathedral. I knew it was around this time of year that I posted this blog post – https://vickmcq.com/2017/04/19/flawed/ in 2017, what I hadn’t realised was it was on exactly the same week! … Continue reading →

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All out.

Posted on February 14, 2019 by vickmcq

A couple of months ago I was chatting to someone and I remarked that even when I feel I can cry no more still more tears come. However I have finally reached the stage where there are no more tears … Continue reading →

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