Tag Archives: Widow

3 boxes.

Posted on May 25, 2022 by vickmcq

Imagine 3 separate boxes. These are the boxes where I contain my grief. Let me explain. The first box is where I hold memories and thoughts of John that are too painful or traumatic to think about and talk about … Continue reading →

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Pain, confidence, fragility and faith

Posted on March 30, 2022 by vickmcq

So after having a searing pain in the top back of my thigh I ended up at an emergency Doctors at 2am on Saturday morning. Turns out its a trapped nerve, thankfully not a blood clot like they suspected. I … Continue reading →

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I don’t know.

Posted on July 14, 2021 by vickmcq

Yesterday while out walking the dogs I bumped into someone (not literally, social distancing et al.) from church who I haven’t seen since March 2020. We had a little chat and at the end they said ‘Hope to see you … Continue reading →

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Time, Rings, Tears and Things.

Posted on November 23, 2020 by vickmcq

As I have mentioned previously time is such a strange concept this year. While chatting with my therapist last week we talked about how time is going fast and yet slow in equal measure. I cried a lot about John … Continue reading →

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“You’re not academic”

Posted on June 1, 2020 by vickmcq

Another essay in. I still have 2 to do this year that I had deferred from previous years due to bereavements. It’s honestly a miracle I’ve got this far and I’m so grateful to God everytime I hand an essay … Continue reading →

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Chinks of light.

Posted on February 9, 2020 by vickmcq

Phew. The third-year anniversary of John’s death is over. It was so hard this year. Every day since John died I have got out of bed straight away when I’ve been awake but twice in the last month I haven’t … Continue reading →

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Christmas time.

Posted on January 5, 2020 by vickmcq

The last day of the Christmas has arrived in the church calendar. Midnight Mass was beautiful, I cried even though I was serving but did it discreetly so no one saw, I was overwhelmed by the story of Jesus’ birth, … Continue reading →

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Leftover thoughts.

Posted on December 21, 2019 by vickmcq

A few thoughts following the last blog post. These thoughts actually started off as a thread of tweets but realised they could and probably should be a blog post. I have extended it a little too. a) My relationship with … Continue reading →

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Brutally Honest.

Posted on December 15, 2019 by vickmcq

Stand by your beds because it’s all about to come tumbling out. It’s been a hard week. I’ve faced a fair amount of pushback on social media for my political and theological beliefs, I also had therapy for the first … Continue reading →

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This and that.

Posted on November 29, 2019 by vickmcq

Haven’t written for a while. Life’s been trickling on steadily. Settling into the flat ok, Alfie and Eric my Yorkies are happy. It’s a difficult week this week, it should have been Mum’s Birthday a few days ago and it … Continue reading →

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